My life right now feels like a jumble of emotions, events and uncertainties that have become a melange of the weirdest moods I’ve had in a good long time. I have tried to diagnose what I am feeling to no avail. Maybe I should talk about my weekend and what I have been up to.
This weekend I visited Sarah in Toulouse for the last time; although, I will probably return to Toulouse one last time, Sarah left France today. She taught primaire and had a contract that ends at the end of March, but because she decided to look at law schools, she ended early and took a flight back to the States today. For a friendship that started at the beginning of October, I am confident that it’s a lasting one. (Sarah, if you are reading this, I already miss your presence in France). The next time we are going to see each other is when we are both in NYC this summer, which leads me to my next bit of news.
On the train back from Toulouse I had a feeling that I should check my email. So I took out my Kindle and checked my Gmail, which is actually a chore to do because my Kindle is an older version. An email from NYU was waiting for me amid emails from friends and newsletter subscriptions I never actually read. The kicker was that NYU didn’t actually let me know if I was in or out of their publishing program in the email—there was a link with the log-in information instead. Well, there was no way my reading device was going to be able to access that. I should have just waited the hour and a half to check my email to avoid traveling in anxiety the rest of the way to Rodez. Good news though: I’ve been accepted into the program! Now to wait for Columbia’s decision, which would be an excellent birthday present.
Yup, my birthday is on Wednesday. Although this is not the first time I’ve been out of the country for my birthday (or out of the range of close friends), it is the first time that I will be celebrating my birthday without my family. Because my birthday falls at the end of March, I was usually the girl who celebrated her birthday during Spring break with little school recognition. For this reason, I’m used to having birthdays sans friends or a big celebration on the day—at the same time, my family has always been there. Even though I have great friends who will celebrate with me in Rodez and I have a skype or two to look forward to, I wish I were home. I’m a little jealous of Sarah who gets to celebrate her birthday next week at home. Pshh.
All of these events, plus the diet books and sad, call to action documentaries in which I’ve immersed myself, have created an unbalanced Liz. But this is nothing that a good night sleep and a cleansing morning run cannot fix.